Glorkian Warrior: The Trials of Glork Hacked

Greetings, Space Cadets! Are you ready to protect and glork whatever darn small hunk of rock we at the academy send you out to protect? Are you ready to blast invaders of all shapes and sizes? Are you ready to collect enough crackers to pay off your tuition? Are you ready to have amusing conversations with your talking backpack following your inevitable demise at the hands of Braindeevils, Groinx, Blurstebeasts, and that stupid invincible magic robot? Well, then Glorkian Warrior: The Trials of Glork, also available for iOS, is the game for you! A James Kochalka/Pixeljam joint production, Glorkian Warrior gives you just the right mix of retro-shooter arcade action, platform stomping, and Saturday Morning Cartoon, now for your home Magnaglork computer screen terminal! Move with [A] and [D] or the left and right [arrow] keys, and jump with [X], [Z], [W], or the up [arrow]. Your backpack will automatically fire your standard weapon as you dodge enemy attacks, trying to keep your heart meter about zero. Watch out for slightly larger enemies in each wave: blasting them will drop new weapons and power-ups. Blasted creatures may also drop Space Crackers, which you will need to collect to unlock new features in the game. Also, watch out for the Slurkers traisping underfoot. They can't hurt you by touching, but their flames can cause quite the hot foot. It's best to give 'em the old hop-and-bop treatment when you can. Also, watch out for Zoe and Chloe, two battle-suited lady aliens, who will grant you Bonus Crackers for completing missions. Earn 20,000 crackers total and, well, we'll all be very impressed at your tenacity.